BREAKING: “Venezuela Will Never Be a Colony of Any Nation” — VP Rodríguez Sworn In as Interim President, Calls U.S. Operation ‘Kidnapping’

CARACAS—Venezuelan Vice President Delcy Rodríguez was sworn in Tuesday as interim president during a rapidly convened ceremony that officials described as “constitutionally flexible but emotionally definitive,” vowing that Venezuela “will never be a colony of any nation, especially one that keeps calling.”
Standing beneath an oversized national flag and flanked by military officers who appeared to have been summoned mid-lunch, Rodríguez rejected all forms of U.S. cooperation, assistance, dialogue, or “friendly check-ins,” denouncing the recent military operation as “a kidnapping dressed up as diplomacy.”
“This was not cooperation. This was not intervention. This was not even good planning,” Rodríguez declared. “This was kidnapping—geopolitical Uber, but with tanks.”
The swearing-in, broadcast on state television and several social media platforms simultaneously, included a rewritten oath that emphasized sovereignty, resistance, and the immediate deletion of several foreign phone numbers. Rodríguez accused Washington of attempting to “rebrand colonialism with better marketing,” adding that Venezuela was “not accepting free trials, limited-time offers, or democracy samples.”
U.S. officials responded by expressing “concern,” a word they reportedly keep on standby for situations involving flags, speeches, and countries south of Florida. One unnamed official insisted the operation was “misunderstood,” explaining that it was meant to be “a collaborative extraction of stability,” though declined to clarify who requested it.
Crowds gathered across Caracas, some cheering, some confused, and some asking whether this meant Wednesday was now a national holiday. The military pledged loyalty to Rodríguez, describing her leadership as “firm, patriotic, and currently happening.”
International reaction was swift and cautious. Several governments called for calm, dialogue, and maps. Analysts noted that Venezuela now joins a growing list of nations whose leadership status is “developing by the hour.”
Rodríguez closed her address with a warning to foreign powers. “Venezuela is not for sale, rent, lease, or regime-change subscription,” she said. “We are sovereign, we are serious—and we are done being kidnapped